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| idk why but i'm really lacking in my culture. maybe it's the bad image i've had of armenian people or the negativity i've felt from Armenians whether they were family or family friends but maybe it's not all that bad to be Armenian. i'm giving it one last shot next quarter. I'm trying to find my niche in college & discover who i am before i'm shoved out into the world &have to face it alone. I'm swallowing my pride & giving in to something i rejected earlier in my experience at college. It's time for me to meet the Armenian population at UCI & see if there's anyone in there that isn't as two-faced as i've seen & maybe find a worthy friend in the end....who knows. | | |
| So my midterms are on monday & obviously i need some time to vent.
My break today started with driving Dale to see his sister's show at a cafe (her band is quite cute). while driving there i realized i'm a lucky driver...if that makes any sense. basically i'm the kind of driver that should have caused about 8 accidents by now but i'm so alert/aware of my surroundings that i've had near misses. Beyond that i should probably have a ticket record that looks like a high school year book because i've done so many things while driving that should cause alarm/me being pulled over by a cop but again...every time i have a cop near me they just drive on by. So i'll knock on wood & hope my luck doesn't run out.
Dale's sister's show was so cute. she has an amazing voice & her song lyrics are different/refreshing (compared to the other people who performed today as well...). After the show we drove home.
I finally watched Harold & Kumar escape Guantanamo bay or whatever the movie is called. Very funny/interesting. I needed the laughs & Dale fed me so...YAY food ;P
Now i'm home & i just can't focus on studying. This seems to be the story of my life. I can't just sit & learn. Especially cause my midterms on monday is global change (which i'm actually fairly confident i'll do ok in) & then physics (which scares the shit out of me). With physics it's not that it's difficult...it's just that there's a lot of math & even though i start with the right equation i always miss a step or get stuck somewhere & to make matters worse...the midterm is multiple choice...which means it's all or none...no partial credit. At least with show your work type problems it's easy to get 4 out of 6 points as long as you were heading in the right direction at one point....but multiple choice is the bane of my existence. I hate mutiple choice tests. Because they don't test your knowledge but how well you can crack the code. basically if you have a good idea of how the numbers work you can easily guestimate the answer with a high degree of confidence (even if teachers pull that two answers that look the same but differ by 1 degree or something). Don't get me wrong. i've worked on physics every day for about 5 weeks now but still...i make these stupid...almost elementary...mistakes & they just frusterate me cause then i hit a road block. not to mention that the teacher has already planned ahead with those mistakes & included the wrong answer you might calculate along with the actual answer you should have gotten in the humble that is the multiple choice test. GAH!! i hate it.
Happy thoughts...I LOVE VOLUNTEERING AT THE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL!!! the kids are so cute & i love working with them on math & language. i have 2 kids that i consider mine (Rene & Jocelin) & they make me happy. I work on english with jocelin because she's a native spanish speaker having some difficulty picking up english (she's cute though cause she reads english very well...but doesn't understand what she's reading). & Rene is my math buddy. i work on adding & subtracting to the 10ths place with him & though he understands adding...subtracting is different. if i ask him what's 33-18 he gets stuck because he wants to take 8 out of 3 & automatically puts 0. But when i tried working with unit blocks i realized his trouble is that he doesn't understand that he can take away from teh 10th place to make the 3 bigger then 8...so his teacher thinks he might be special ed because mastering ones & tens place should have occurred in 1st grade. Beyond that the rest of the class are amazing. it's weird to have kids look up to you the way they do & it makes me feel special...lol. i love working with them & going in to help. If you ever get a chance to participate in a cal teach class...DO IT!!!
but back to why i'm here.....MIDTERMS/PHYSICS!! AHHHH!!!.....*loses hair*
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| So my friend got married today...& the wedding was so cute!!!
I wish i was drunk right now
for some reason there's a pent up ball of anger inside of me & idk who it'll be let out on...
midterms next week....
i'm leaving the emergency department for the stroke unit & it makes me sad cause i love the emergency department...
i want to explore irvine on my bike one weekend
valentines day is coming...what should i do with ricardo since i failed at valentines day last year...
Fuck physics
I'M SICK A-FREAKING-GAIN!!! I HATE BEING SICK & I'M READY TO RIP MY LUNGS OUT CAUSE EVERY TIME I COUGH I DIE A LITTLE INSIDE (& I'VE COUGHEd ABOUT A MILLION TIMES TODAY!!!! MY DIAPHRAGM HURTS!!!)
....yes.
those are my thoughts in a few sentences. it's funny how so much is going on even though there really isn't much going on...GAH! | | |
| SO the quarter is done & i'm doing overtime at HOAG to make up for the holiday when i go home >.
Wed: met someone who'd had a stroke & i got to watch them do the whole F.A.S.T. routine on them (face, arms, speech, & time...lol). This patient had suffered a stroke before & was out to dinner with friends when it happened. The patient's face did the 1/2 smile thing (basically the nurse asked the patient to smile...when the patient did only 1/2 of their face raised to a smile while the other half remained down.) it was so weird! next was the chart with pictures that i'd been so curious about. the nurse held it up & asked the patient to tell her what was on the chart & their speech was definitely slurred. Then the nurse had the patient touch her fingertip then his nose back to the fingertip...which he performed fairly well. it was definitely amazing to see & then they took the patient off to get a cat scan i believe. So cool! Then i got to help the doctor replace a dislocated hip. OMG! i love when doctors replace dislocated joints cause i swear they could pull the patient's limb off with the force & maneuvers they do but in the end you hear the pop that tells you every thing is back to its place & it's just freaky!!! Got to see more stitches & such...which never get old. made beds & stocked.
Friday: got to help bandage up a patient who was elderly & had fallen. the patient had lacerations to their legs (both legs got bandaged up)& their elbows (the PCA told me to feel this area of the patient's elbow...i did & it was hard...then the PCA told me that was the patient's bone i was feeling & i was like OMG! how did they fall do damage the front part of their legs yet take the skin off their elbows?). helping bandage the patient up was the coolest!! & the PCA that let me help trusts me cause later he had me "take vitals" on a patient. basically i hooked the patient up to the blood pressure cuff, turned on the monitor & pushed the button that recorded all the vitals...WHOOT! lol. i even got to ask the patient on a scale of 0 to 10 (0 being no pain & 10 being severe pain) how they felt!! so cool! i know...i'm a nerd. this stuff makes me happy & i love the ECU atmosphere. Future job site found!!! definitely want to be a nurse in the emergency room! recognized a patient that had been in on wed. & i talked to them & joked around about how they just loved seeing us. the patient is a sweetheart & i'm sad they were back. i hate it when i see a patient & then go back a few days later to see them again. i hope one of these days to see a patient outside of the hospital & be like "HEY! do you remember me. How is *insert reason they were in hospital in first place here* feeling?"
omg. & i have a shift tomorrow from 11-3!!!! YAY!! then i'll be back hopefully the next day if not then i'll be in there for a shift on tuesday. again. i can't stress how happy HOAG makes me & how honestly blessed i am that i got in on my first try & have been able to be apart of some amazing procedures.
further amazing news: I'm a part of a class next quarter that provides free tutoring to children in low scoring schools. the program is called Cal. Teach & i get to do 4 hours a week of field work in which i'm assigned a teacher & i get to help tutor their kids in science!! i got fingerprints done yesterday (i guess they need to make sure i'm not a pedophile or haven't committed any serious crime). I'm so excited to be apart of this program & get a taste of what it's like to teach others!! i have so many plans based on what the kiuds are learning & i can't wait to put them into action!! seriously. i hope my finals went well because this high i'm feeling is the best thing i've ever felt in the world & i hope it can only get better (aka: i get all A's & at least a C+ in Anatomy)...but we'll see how that goes. well i have to e-mail my time sheet to a professor. <3! | | |
| by the end of the quarter i will have a 3.0, i will go to the new years rave, & i will enjoy my accomplishments.
if i get into the nursing major i pledge to break up with ricardo (because i see maddy & the amount of time she puts into it...bascially i feel i'll barely see him & it'll be for the best for both of us. definitely still stay friends with him though ;D), study way more then i ever have, quit HOAG, & wipe my ass with a phi sigma rho sweatshirt.
for the year 2009 i WILL study abroad, have above a 3.4, & will manage to finish college by fall quarter if i don't get into the nursing major from where i will apply to nursing schools & hopefully get into one of them.
just some thoughts i had in my head that i want proof of somewhere so i can look back & make them happen. | | |
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